omg. i love the olympics. it's not like i've ever or will ever experience all that happens there(at least as a sportsman),
but like i really feel the anticipation and anxiety and all i see the sports ppl feel. like really really. and i can't believe i cried like mad when i watched the finals of the individual all round gymnastics men. like i cried when yang wei got gold(and these are the times i'm damn proud of china) and cried also when benoit, the french guy, cried cause he got bronze. like he scraped through in qualifications. but he got third. it's so damn mad. and like you see a big french guy and he's crying...

and when i watch the hockey olympics i get really emotional and i was q pissed this morning when the chinese team didn't manage to get an equalizer agst the netherlands (although the netherlands are the world champion) but still...

AND this morning, it suddenly occured to me that i'm very fat so i think i will attempt to lose some weight. (: omg. random random...off to sch later. i have a really lousy timetable...

i think secretly (ok maybe not so secretly) i always yearn for things to be better.
sounds abit dumb because i'm sure everybody feels that way, but i guess i just don't like to lose, and it's a extremely big deal for me. (i guess the diff is the extent of that feeling maybe)

anyway, like i think i have good friends, but i don't know why i just generally still prefer being on my own many a times. i'm really q antisocial i think. like i love to be with my friends, but maybe just not so often. and it's kinda sad, i wonder why i don't have a best friend. at least not one that can be really called as such. like i guess if anything happens or i want to talk to someone about something really private i will want to tell kt, but like 80% of the time i'm worrying about how busy she is, so i just forget about it and tell myself i have to deal with it because that's what a sensible adult is supposed to be doing. my other friends give me alot of support also but i just feel like i'm not giving enough to them.
sometimes it feels like i insist on being close to ppl that actually maybe are not meant for me to be close to.

anyhow, sch's starting for good and i have a sucky timetable. but i guess i will deal with it and i'm feeling kinda lost and disappointed because i don't have anything in sch besides academic stuff to immerse myself into and feel the great sch spirit that i've always wanted to get out of uni. probably it'll be much better if we had a hockey team..i really don't get why there isn't...